A small window of opportunity to write something in my blog after a long month, and yes the soup is cooking on the Aga!
I am currently suffocating in my life. Too many unknowns, loose ends, unsatisfactory meetings, letters with unrealistic demands, deals, and proposals. Today I sat and re-read all the solicitor’s documentation, and actually, in collaboration, there isn’t supposed to be any! DH’s solicitor on a number of occasions, three in fact has written lengthy letters and delivered them via email. Each one is quite different and the offers have varied but still not acceptable.
I have been asking myself, why don’t I just take what’s been offered, but it’s such a crap deal. If I didn’t have the boys I wouldn’t care but they are an anchor, a commitment, and sometimes a noose. Yes of course I love them but being totally responsible for their care is draining. Tripping over bags in hallways, dirty clothes littered across bedrooms, endless arguments over Playstation FIFA, constant delay, and reluctance over chores just wears you down.
Is the system fair, I don’t think so. Behind the scenes, I am bombarded with horrible texts, unreliable monthly payments, failures to collect and look after the boys at any given time. Dwindling interest in seeing the boys in the week, disengagement with their lives. And then I hear he will now be renting a two-bedroom flat, is that a father who is thinking of the well-being of his children? Or a man hell-bent on being awkward and making everyone suffer?
I truly wonder why I ever married such a selfish man.