Radio 4 Women’s hour this week discussed the chores calculator, the bit I heard was interesting in parts although did turn into a bit of an anti men discussion. Despite my current situation I am definitely not anti men and indeed have decided I quite like doing chores, or should I say household jobs.
BUT I know this is only if I am appreciated! Or what I do is noticed and I am given thanks…the moment someone takes me for granted or says I am lazy (which I am absolutely not) I feel really peeved and unappreciated. I must say renumeration for work can make me feel valued too! I happily pay my children to do chores/errands around the house. Perhaps I should just make them do them but I recognise to sometimes get something done or help you need to pay.
For me now my problem is the imbalance for what I deem to do for the three boys and what my estranged husband, soon to be x does. It niggles me intensely because for all the reasons I have mentioned above.
On his weekend, he collects the children at 7.30pm on a Friday night. They leave all their uniform here. They return Sunday about the same time, with bags full of clothes, sports gear that need washing. Admittedly I have had 48 hours of a quiet home. An ideal opportunity to catch up on household jobs; striping beds, washing, tidying. I do go out, indulge in a lie in and also enjoy the fact I can cook what suits me and at a time that suits me, so I’m not complaining. But these weekends are alternate and the boys do not see their father for any length of time in-between these weekends. So who does all the paperwork, form filling, name-taping, homework, organising of sports events, liaising with school, sick days, washing, cooking, packed lunches……and the list goes on. Of course, I do! Do I get a ” thanks, despite our differences I really appreciate you’re a wonderful Mother” “I couldn’t do my job without you sorting out the boys every day” or “do you have enough money to support the boy’s needs”.
NO – I get the government recommendation for child maintenance and accusations that I like a champagne lifestyle and should work longer hours! I do love champagne but right now I can only afford Prosecco, so thanks DH for being such a mean-spirited man who thinks alternate weekends is sufficient input and never understands how much the children cost.
So yes I am anti, anti my x husband – DH for these blog purposes but then that’s not really a revelation is it?