I can truly see it… the finishing line is nearly within my grasp. One large leap and I feel as if I could maybe catch it, the leap required is however slightly bigger than I have the stretch at the moment. I am therefore creeping up quietly, slowly, patiently and then I will grab it and hold it so tightly my knuckles will go white. I will then be so frightened to let go just in case it disappears. I imagine this line is a ribbon, similar to one that is held and stretched at the finish of a race, never has it held such significance to me.
If signifies the end of being controlled, treated with such distaste, hatred, and disrespect. The freedom the end of the divorce will give me is not physical freedom but headspace which I haven’t had for over a year. A year of solicitors, emails, disagreements, accusations, money battles and negativity has filled too much of my life and thinking time. Not to mention emotional eating resulting in sugar loading and lethargy, which is not me. I have given in to it as I don’t have the strength for a personal battle with myself.
I have been told I should sprinkle the corners of my home with salt and light candles to remove the negative energy within the house after everything is concluded. I am willing to try anything.